• Gabrielle Archambault

Your footsteps in the snow

I followed the footsteps in the snow, I was so sure that they were yours. I got lost trying to keep track of them. I realized they could be anyone's so I went home. Every time I turn my head you are there. On the street, in my rearview mirror and on the other side of the bed. When I wake up, the first thing I see is your perfect smile but it slowly fades away just like mine when I realize you are not there. Sometimes I'm so sure that you are standing behind me when I feel the wind on the back of my neck. I can still picture you behind me, holding me. You are gone but somehow every thought that I have has your fingerprints all over it. Like when I tried to kiss someone just to make the taste of you go away. It didn't work and I'm kind of glad. Or that time when I stopped breathing as long as I could so your smell would go away. I didn’t and I wish I could capture it in a bottle. When I saw the notes you left me, I thought about getting them tattooed along my spine. Tonight, music can't help me, your laughter still echoes in the back of my mind. Too loud. It brings tears to my eyes when I know I won't hear it anymore. I still can't wrap my mind around this and I don't think I ever will. Why you ? Why not me ? Simply. Why ? Sometimes I start to laugh and I end up crying. I just don't get it. So when I close my eyes hard enough that I see little dots of color, time goes back for a beat and you slowly come back to life. All the words that I wanted to say were said and I could kiss you one last time. Then reality takes a bite out of my dream. Even after everything, I would still meet you, get to know you, fall for you, give you everything and let you go with all of it. I wouldn't for a second save myself this pain to trade all these beautiful moments become memories.

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